diaryy dairy daituu daitya dairy

visited my sick girlfriend,, and cooked food for her it was fun but now i think im coming down with something. I always seem to come back here when I'm sick. I started updating the site a bit more though if you've noticed, the art page is like boxed up a bit more. Very simple small changes little by little. That's how I like to work, however everything is built around how fast you can get things done so i don't think i have a very bright future.

I have a lot of schoolwork to do but the pull of making a dungeon crawler gets stronger every day. I started playing Etrian Odyssey again and its helped to keep the feeling at bay while I still have stuff to do this semester. I'm still playing Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey, but im stuck a little so i switch between the two games currently. It may be due to the headache I have while writing this but,, gosh I miss not having to worry too much about file dependencies. I've been thinking of putting something quickly together in Unity, just cuz I miss the workflow and C#. I love C++ very dearly but sometimes it can be a real headache. im sure it may be less so as i gain more experience, but waugh its rough yknow...
plusss...
Doing things slowly is more enjoyable don't you think? Or at least some stuff. I think programming makes me feel more warm when i take my time, the same thing with art. It's easier to get caught up in meaningless details though, that way//
but that's what life is all about right? right??

I'm on break this week so I finally get a chance to catch my breath. Between applying for jobs and making sure that I make it out of school alive, its been a pretty hectic semester. Of course, that means that I don't have as much time to do the things that I want to, like update this site. I'm not dead (not that anyone really noticed :p) so I'm still working on lots of stuff. Hopefully I'll have more to show off soon. AAAAAA LET ME OUT OF HERE !!!!

I think I mentioned it before, but I've been really into first-person dungeon crawlers as of late. Like seriously addicted. I really love the process of mapping out a dungeon. Maybe its stockholm syndrome but I really like how samey many dungeon crawler dungeons feel too. It's really hard to determine where you are without a map, and if you don't have a good one, it can often feel like you're trudging through some kind of freaky funhouse. I've been playing Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey recently, but I've also given Etrian Odyssey and Mary Skelter a try. Unfortunately, there was a weird glitch with my computer where the save/load feature would constantly be stuck scrolling through all the saves. I couldn't figure out what was causing it so I just returned the game :/ Mary Skelter had some neat ideas, but Shin Megami Tensei has been scratching the itch better than most other things I could find.
I don't really need a super smooth perfect experience with the games that I play, a little bit of resistance gameplay-wise is fine, and maybe even a bit endearing. Having a working save/load system is a must for me. I don't think that really needs to be said, but...

There has also been a lot of cool and interesting stuff that I've found while digging through itch.io. In the dungeon crawler department, Labyrinth.os and Touhou:Artificial Dream in Arcadia were really cool and kind of what sent me into my dungeon crawler obsession.Labyrinth.os really captures that kind of strange "freaky funhouse" vibe that I mentioned earlier. I'm absolutely horrible at describing things, but I think (ofc) the best way to find out accurately what the vibe is, is to play it yourself. Only a short demo exists right now but its so entrancing getting lost in the labyrinth already. Artificial Dream in Arcadia is really solid as well, I was already a fan of danmaku and the touhou games so having my interests collide is always fun. After returning Mary Skelter, I downloaded the demo for Artificial Dream and it was everything that I needed that night, like finding water in a desert. They just drop you right in with that game. No bullshit, nothing. It's great. When you want to recruit other characters you have to play through a bullet-hell segment. I don't have much else to say its just great,, (I still need to get the full version though so...) Three Verses is also super cool, probably one of the more unique dungeon crawlers that I've played so far. There's a newer version of it out (or a sequel?) that I have yet to play. Its like if LSD: Dream Simulator was a dungeon crawler. The main mechanic is writing down these phrases from gods so that you can be the muse for these poets. It's really cool and super enjoyable.

I need to make a page specifically just to gush about the stuff I've been picking up. There's just so much. It's kept me cozy in this past semester while things have been looking grim. I don't have a sign off or anything. I'll be back soon,, just stay where you are ok? There's milk and cookies in the fridge. I'll be just a moment.

happy valentines day !! I am no longer sick though I still have a cough here and there. The last couple of weeks have been rough, my head is so overwhelmed with random thoughts and ideas. I started a bunch of stuff and then hop to the next thing that takes over my mind. I'm slowly trying to transition into using linux, but there's just so much to know. Which, don't get me wrong, is super exciting, it's just a lot coming from knowing very little about the underlying operating system normally ig.

I've been drawing a lot, if you haven't noticed. Every time I get stressed I just draw something. I lost my mouse recently though so that might slow down a little. In addition to transitioning to linux, I've been trying to just move my stuff over (workflow wise) to as many open-source tools and programs as I can. I started using this IDE, Code::Blocks. Really packed with features, I think that I could probably make good use out of it, but the lack of semantic highlighting really kills the vibes. Though ig if you're really hardcore you'd just code in a normal text editor anyway which wouldn't have semantic highlighting. But I didn't really realize how important semantic highlighting was to me until I started using Code::Blocks more regularly. It's a cute little program though, I have other IDEs and stuff that I use so it's not really that big of a deal.

I was trying to write programs for my PSP, but that's pretty difficult. I feel like I really do need to know linux to try and code for it. (This is not true). I will keep trying though. In the meantime I've become really obsessed with traditional Dungeon Crawlers, like Etrian Odyssey style stuff. I've been working on making my own because I just like how straight forward the whole thing is. It feels really mechanical, I like it. There's a Madoka Magica dungeon crawler that released on the PSP in Japan and it looks pretty cool imo. I feel like psychic powers are sort of best communicated in like a first-person dungeon crawler kind of perspective.

Things are pretty slow here, I know that on the home page I said that I was updating the graphics of certain pages. That's sort of true, since I want to make more pages, but with the random stress art I've been doing and other projects and school, it's become a bit buried. My website has become probably less of a cozy place and more of a junkyard as a result (/pos). But I mice might find a junkyard heaven don't you think?

.... I got sick over the past week and totally lost like anything above like caveman level intelligence. Of course, it was a good excuse to avoid people and my responsiblities for a while but AUGHGHHHH i hate being sick.Why is it that during the day having a disease or whatever is quite manageable, but during the night it's like 10x worse? Does my body just hate me or something, you're supposed to be sending out antibodies or whatever whats going on. Being sick is always a rollercoaster, and a super unwelcome one at that. I totally lost my appetite this time too, it made me hate eating all of a sudden. Which I'm sure didn't make things any easier for my recovery. Of course, the total duration of this sickness thus far has only been a few days, agonizingly long, but I see the light (not dying), and I'm feeling well enough to type all this up so things should be good soon.

While rolling around in my bed the last couple of days I started watching both Lucky Star and Wolf's Rain (reccommended by buns, their site is really cool you should check it out !!!). Despite the atmosphere, the first episode of Wolf's Rain was actually a pretty comforting watch while sick in bed. The moody and mysterious atmosphere was exactly how I was feeling plus like a headache and chills or something. I've only seen the first episode so far but I'm kind of a sucker for characters who were born in a lab and...and also I was a bit of a wolf girl growing up... ANYWAY Lucky Star is also great! I can't believe I hadn't watched it sooner. I'm watching it dubbed since I got recc'd like a 9 hour video of just like every episode. I don't usually like watching dub, but I think it's well done here, like the deliveries are pretty funny. The only point of comparison that I have with the JP dub is the Initial D ref scene, I think the voice acting there was better in japanese but.. I'm sure I'll watch it over again at some point.

hopefully I'll be back in good shape soon. I've been putting off cleaning up this place for a while. There's a bunch of other stuff I wanna add too. Like dedicated pages to talk about anime/manga/games. I gave up on making a links page before, because I figured that it might be redundant since I link things all the time everywhere else on my site, but I realize that's not really the point of a dedicated links page...I mean kinda. I'm working on it.

Its been a long week of bad habits. DearMyLove said I was rank 4 this week, so that will be my excuse. I would like to say that I was hard at work doing something cool, but that's not true! I was playing video games. I started playing Fatal Frame recently. It's so good! Nothing is as exciting as when a ghost appears and the creepy corridors that I've been sitting in suddenly becomes a cramped battlefield!!! There was a ghost that really kicked my ass kind of early in the game, where you follow the phantom of your brother down a hallway but at the corner a new ghost appears. Since I hadn't saved in a while I got a little frustrated when it killed me. I made sure to load the game up today just to kill him in that hallway. Unlike my other battles with the ghosts, this one was way easier than I orignally thought. If you trick yourself into being angry or something instead of scared its really easy to kill the ghosts. So far anyway.

I also started watching Princess Jellyfish this week. It's been my comfort show to wind down with before I go to sleep. I am NOT a NEET, but I do feel very connected to the main cast. I'm only a couple of episodes in, so unfortunately I don't have many well formed thoughts about the show yet.It's been sweet so far.

Working on this site is a lot of fun, I come back everyday and try to add something new. The only real problem with my workflow is that I don't really think about these things ahead of time, so I end up feeling like something is missing all the time. I think that will probably continue to be the case. I recently made a "Links" page for example, that I wanted to have links to all the websites that I think are cool and also to any helpful tools or resources that I've used to make this. A friend of mine, V, has her site organized very well, her links page also includes why she thinks each of the links are cool, like a short blurb. I wanted to do that too, but I didn't want to just leave that page unfinished with blurbs that I sort of wrote up quickly without putting much thought into it. So for now, I've closed the links page for a bit while I work on improving it. It may also be somewhat redundanttt, since I have links on my home page,.. I still have to argue with myself in my head while I'm working on that.

I started watching Rozen Maiden recently and I really love it. It's comforting in similar ways that I found XXXHolic comforting. The clothing for each of the main dolls is so cute! I especially love Hina-Ichigo's outfit and Suigintou's outfit. While I also enjoy watching the more slice of life bits, as well as the main character healing, I have to admit that I watch Rozen Maiden primarily for it's doll characters. I'm really intrigued by the Alice Game also, and how the show sort of has to balance this battle royale type story in the background while the main character is learning to break out of his shell. I'm only a couple episodes in atm, so I am trying to reserve most of my thoughts for when I finish the series.

In other news I've been feeling the pull towards Raylib again. I was introduced to it during one of my classes last semester, and after a much needed break, I feel it crawling into my skull again. I found it really easy to pick up and play around with, at least utilizing this template. I'm pretty unfamiliar with Make and CMake though, I often just use boilerplates provided to me. So that might also be something worth investing some time into. If I disappear for a while, there is a good chance I am doing one of those things.

I haven't really set up this diaryblogthing correctly, or in a way that makes much sense. I have to remember to type up the date correctly. I guess it hasn't really set in that it's 2025. Just a constant steady stream of consciousness forever. The posts are fixed now, everything has been written in 2025, I wasn't here in 2024.
I haven't had as much time as I wanted to to play games. There are many games I have to catch up on. I want to play through Kingdom Hearts, Devil May Cry, etc. All the games that I wish I had the chance to play as a kid but didn't. When I get bored, I just come here and work on this site. I'm making very slow but occassional progress. There are a lot of really cool inspiring websites on here that keep me going. I want to keep drawing and playing around with different tools and programs.
My computer has really bright, saturated colors. As a result, sometimes I draw something that looks ok on my screen, but when I look at it on my phone it looks a lot worse. A lot more dull. I've gotten better at doing color adjustment so it looks ok on every screen, or on the screens available to me anyway. I'm still working on replacing the rest of the graphics here. Or maybe not. I think I might just keep some blank boxes here and there.

hi hi! I wanted to write an actual post this time. I'm rank 1 in luck this week according to DearMyLove, so I intend to make the most of it. I've moved back in for college, it's nice to have a lock on my door. I can hole up in my room and just do whatever! Sometimes I need to clear my mind, so I'm very grateful to have locks on my door. I can also dress however I want without much judgement. Lots of people are still figuring themselves out here, so even if you look out of place, you fit right in. Sort of.
Since I'm back, I have access to my drawing tablet again, so I wanted to draw a bunch of new graphics for my site. So far I've only implemented one.(𖦹x𖦹)
But it feels nice to use the tablet again. I tried drawing some graphics with my mouse earlier, but it took a lot longer. I liked doing pixel art in the past, and with that I mainly used my mouse. Since pixel art is a lot smaller, I feel like you have to be a bit more precise compared to when I'm just drawing with a pen or something. As a result, I was trying to make much larger drawings, but I couldn't help but feel the need to go back and be more precise, it was taking forever...
Entirely a skill issue, I know. If the situation got any more dire than that, I think I would have just went with it anyway. BUT I HAVE MY DRAWING TABLET NOW SO THERE WILL BE NO MORE EXCUSES >:0 !!!!